I remember the expression on the face of Croatian’s first league club captain Varteks FC Miljenko Mumlek when his coach Branko Ivanković made him apologize to the referee for calling him “monkey”. Are you familiar with this kind of things? Of course. And we ourselves used to lose the nerves as players. But now that we are coaches, pedagogues we have to warn the players that it is not nice to react in that way. It is no longer important who is right or wrong, or whether the judge may have even deserved the obtained epithet for his decision.
At the press conference after the game, the captain of the Varteks FC publicly apologized to the referee, but it was apparent even from the plane that this was an extorted gesture and that his apology was not honest. After that, we all felt bad, and most of all I, because the idea of an apology was mine, then director of marketing of the club.
The captain’s excuse was quickly forgotten, and I learned something again. I learned that apologies do count only if they are true.
In today’s post, I will try to convince you why true apologie is important.
Did you hurt the player? Supporter? Referee? Colleague?
Don’t even think about not doing it – you simply need to apologize. No one is perfect so you coaches aren’t also. We’re all sometimes wrong. We can all hurt people through our behavior and actions, whether it is intentional or not. When we apologize we show that we are sorry for our actions.
When it comes to the apology, it is most important to feel the true desire to make an apology to someone who has been hurt by our words or deeds. It is not always easy to apologize, but after the mistake done, this is the most effective way of restoring trust and balance in our relationship with the person we’ve hurt.
Often it is difficult to say I’m sorry, but our conscience still feels bad and we try to get away with it in other ways – with care, flowers, gifts. However, this is not the right way.
You don’t have to apologize because of others, but primarily for yourself. To restore your spiritual peace. If you do not apologize for the wrong done to the other, you will continue to live with it and it will represent the burden you will always carry with you. A sincere apology shows that you are aware of your actions and assume responsibility for them. This can strengthen your self-confidence, self-esteem, and reputation. After the apology, you will certainly feel relief. The excuse is one of the best ways to restore your integrity in the eyes of the person you’ve hurt.
An excuse opens a dialogue between you and that person. A willingness to acknowledge your mistake can also help you renew mutual trust and establish a quality relationship with another person.
What are the consequences if you do not apologize for your mistake?
First and foremost, you will ruin your relationship with players, colleagues, referees, or supporters. This can harm your reputation, limit career opportunities, and reduce your performance. Maybe even some people wouldn’t be willing to work with you anymore.
Then, not apologizing has a negative impact on your team. No one wants to cooperate with a coach who does not want to admit his mistakes and who does not apologize for them. The hostility, tension, and distrust that comes next to such a trainer’s behavior can be turned into a toxic club atmosphere.